Nutella

 Oi vey....

   I've never been good at beginnings. Honestly doing new things is one of the most terrifying things ever. Therefore, I will be writing this blog as if I have been doing it for the past 15 years and assume that you all know who I am.

So, lets get down to it.

It smells like Nutella in this basement. Sometimes with smell you can sort of smell something even if its not really there but I kid you not, it reeks of Nutella in here. There are two reasons why I bring this up,

1. We haven't had a jar of Nutella in this house for about 3 years now.

and

2. It reminds me of Ireland.

 Honestly, I'm not even joking when I say that I can smell it like there's an opened jar right next to me. I even checked our scarcely stocked pantry and had to avail to this allusive Nutella smell. So, in short: I now think I may be going crazy and I also feel a deep ache to be in Ireland.

 Its funny to me how the human brain works. Sometimes Ill smell an old deodorant brand I used to use and remember being in the musical "Mama Mia" while I played the plastic strings of my sisters bright green ukulele and when I felt like the entire world was completely and utterly still. If I said the words "Old Kindergarten Crayons" I guarantee some people reading this will be able to remember the musty smell of old school crayons. A song can take someone back to their childhood or make them re-live a moment in time. Reality connects us to memories in deep and mysterious ways.

 While I lived in Ireland I was forced to wake up early in the morning, don a green uniform and proceed through this torturous cycle called learning. Because of course, I consider myself a lazy individual I wasn't bothered to ever make myself breakfast and this is where my savior of nutritional value came in during my Irish mornings. Not that I use the term "Nutritional Value" extremely lightly because two slices of bread slathered in the chocolaty goodness that is Nutella and a glass of milk definitely is not nearly as nutritional as I wanted it to be. I ate this wonderful combination of Dairy and Chocolate every single week day in the mornings as I prepared myself for some of the best schooling I will ever receive in my life.

 There are three stages of life for me.

The first is the stage where everything happens at the speed of light.

The second stage is where I am so emotional I should be forced to watch "Gilmore Girls" non stop but only get to hear Loreali and her complaining about stuff. This is also the stage that I'm sure my parents sometimes wish they had left me in an orphanage because my crying is far to similar to that of a Disney Princess.

The third stage is the oddest stage. This is the reflection stage that rears its head only once in a blue moon. The stage where I am so overcome with the need to write or sing that I desperately compose whatever my mind can come up with. I know what they say about creativity but this is almost like my body is trying to rid itself of odd thoughts and other-worldly ideas. I would compare it to someone throwing out their old furniture to make room for new furniture. This is the point of time that I'm in right now. Merciless dreaming and  peculiar thoughts. I think this is why I am reminded of Ireland.

 I write all if this to say.

If you let yourself dream. You also let yourself hurt, you let yourself cry and you let yourself ache.

But when you dream there are beautiful things you can dream of as well.

Dream of the stars.

Dream of the world.

Just dream.

 In the end. Compared to our life on this earth: we are nothing. A tiny speck on this giant earth. And our earth is only one planet in this solar system. And our solar system is one of millions in this Milky Way galaxy. And there are millions of galaxies that stretch across the endless expanse of sky.

But, for some peculiar reason, we all can see the stars. We all breathe the same air. And we all have beating, imperfect hearts. For some reason we get to walk this world and marvel at it.

When you let yourself dream, you let yourself ache.

But you also let yourself thrive.